A couple of weeks ago I wrote about not getting stressed out over not getting into my darkroom over the winter holidays as planned. Well I finally found some time where it wasn’t expected and made some prints that I am happy with. My printing procedure is composed of two steps.  First, I make my prints, stop (using a water bath), fix with a non-hardening formula, then wash and dry on screens. Next, when I have enough prints they’re selenium toned, washed and dried again on screens.

So I worked on 5 images and the next morning came downstairs to take them off the screens and see how they came out.  I immediately noticed one appeared a little dark overall.  I even showed it to my wife for a sanity check and she agreed. This doesn’t happen too often but when it does that’s what the wastebasket is for.  Certainly not the end of the world! Better to admit your mistake earlier rather latter in the process when more time has been invested in a bad outcome.

I planned on getting back into the darkroom with a different printing strategy and went back into the darkroom on Saturday morning expecting to be finished by noon. Usually I can make a print that I’m satisfied in an hour or two. So far so good … or so I thought.  This turned out to be one of the most difficult printing sessions I’ve ever had.  I won’t bore you with the details but I came upstairs six hours and a lot of paper later.  It wasn’t that the negative required heroic measures to salvage a usable print, but rather that I wasn’t getting what I wanted.  Here’s the thing, if I can’t produce something I’m proud of then what’s the point?  The point is not to settle!  There’s so much in our lives that is disappointing; the empty popular culture, our mostly second-rate elected officials and boring breakfast cereal.  One thing we should be able to do is make a damn print we’re proud of and willing to append our signature to!  Not something that’s almost good enough!

Ok, maybe I should have taken a short break to grab some chow, but I was determined. As frustrating as things got, the more unwilling to give up I became. I even thought of a split contrast idea I hadn’t tried before. Why not … it worked!  Sometimes it’s almost like willing yourself to succeed. I/we must be as creative as possible, for as much as I love what I do, all things considered I’d be foolish not to admit that the tools at our disposal are pretty crude.

I finished up a little hungry but happy in my work.  The prints got washed and dried overnight.  I didn’t settle … unlike many of the things that disappoint me I have control over what I create in my darkroom.  Sunday morning I came downstairs again, shut my mind to all nonsense, looked at the prints … and all was well again.